you have to start somewhere

My brother’s wedding toast was something I will never forget. Growing up, we were always close in age, so I followed his lead in many different ways. He got a GameBoy, I got a GameBoy. Then, he taught me how to beat Pokemon Yellow with my eyes closed. He tried out for the basketball team, and then he practiced basketball with me so I could make the team the following year. I always had the “big brother advantage” in a lot of ways because I could learn from his trials and errors. Hilariously enough, my brother pointed this out in his wedding toast that ended with an unexpected twist. He mentioned that unlike other times in life, I am the first of us to get married. “Oh how the tables have turned!” He said as wedding guests laughed in their seats. He was right! Just as he was the guinea pig for entering junior high or getting his license to drive, I was now becoming HIS example for marriage. So crazy!

Likewise, I was the first of all of my friends to get engaged. It was an overwhelmingly exciting and joyful season of life, but at times, I felt the pressure of not having anyone’s example to follow. (Picture yourself volunteering to bungee jump before all of your friends- they are all nervously watching to see how your experience will go before they take the leap. Haha!)

I wasn’t sure where to start with the wedding planning process (despite my career as a wedding photographer!), and there were a lot of unknowns that I had to make decisions about. I did a few things out of order when planning my own wedding, but I have compiled a few steps to help you get started…in the right way!

6 decisions to make once you get engaged:

1. Pick a wedding date.

Obvious, I know! The minute I got engaged, it seemed like there were hundreds of people asking the dreaded question: “What’s your wedding date?” Especially if you are the first of your friends to get engaged, you’ll learn the hard way that picking a date can be a very complex process! Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have an answer right away. For my own wedding, I had to consider the availability of my church, sought-after venue, and immediate family members. On top of that, you might want to plan around the crazy Texas heat, and there may be other vendors you want to check with before finalizing your date. The length of your engagement will dictate your overall wedding planning timeline, determine how much time you have to find a dress, etc.

 

2. Create a tentative guest count.

It’s crazy to think you have to build a guest list so early on in the wedding planning process, but the headache is well worth it! The guest count will dictate your overall wedding budget. Hosting a 75 person wedding is a lot different than hosting 300 of your closest friends and family! Once you have a tentative idea of you guest count (and make sure your parents add in their twice removed cousins first- haha!), you can move forward with choosing a venue that can accommodate everyone. This is also a perfect time to choose the members of your bridal party who will stand by you on your wedding day!

 

3. Choose your venue.

Going off of the second point, your venue is one of the very first decisions you should make. This is usually one of the biggest wedding day investments, so you will want to do your research before booking. Some venues are all-inclusive meaning they offer catering and other services as part of their package. These venues usually include rentals and are equipped with day-of wedding coordinators. Others are venue-only, so you will be responsible for bringing in outside vendors, decorations, etc. Both are great options depending on how long you have to plan your wedding and how hands-on you want to be throughout the planning process. Once you have booked your venue, you can better visualize all of the details of your wedding day which leads us to point 4!

 

4. Book your key vendors.

Once you’ve chosen your wedding date and venue, you can start researching other vendors! Photographers and wedding planners are usually booked 9 months -1 year in advance, so more often than not, they are the first vendors booked by brides. Photographers and planners can only accept one wedding per day, so make sure to book well in advance!

I love sending my brides a preferred vendor list of florists, bakers, etc. to get them started with the rest of their wedding planning. Especially if your friends cannot give you recommendations, a preferred vendor list is a great starting point. (If you don’t have access to one, another place to look is The Knot or Wedding Wire. However, be aware that not all vendors pay for advertising on these sites, so Google searches work great as well!) Other key vendors include caterers,  DJs/bands, and videographers.

 

5. Solidify Your Theme and Wedding Colors.

Like I touched on in one of my recent posts, choosing your wedding colors is super important! Once you know the exact shade (burgundy vs. marsala vs. cranberry), it makes the rest of your planning run smoothly. You can better communicate with florists who need to know the colors for your flowers and bakers who need to match the icing to your swatches! The more organized you can be in the beginning, the less back-and-forth emails you have to worry about as your wedding day gets closer. (Ex: I changed the colors of my bridesmaids dresses after I met with my florist, so I had to redo a few colors in the bouquets. Oops!)

 

6. Say yes to the dress.

Lastly, shopping for your wedding dress makes you start feeling like you actually ARE a bride! Alterations won’t be needed until closer to your wedding date, but ordering early helps you get the ball rolling with bridesmaids fashion, too. I picked out my dress and then found bridesmaids dresses that matched the same vibe. AND, if all else fails, you can rest assured knowing that no matter what happens with the rest of your planning, you can put on your dress and marry the love of your life!

 

if all else fails

If you start to feel overwhelmed by the wedding planning process, remember to give yourself some grace. There are a lot of little details to think about when it comes to planning your wedding. These are just 6 of the decisions that I felt were most important to make before diving deeper into nitty-gritty details of wedding planning. And who knows, maybe when the rest of your friends get engaged, they will rely on you every step of the way! It will be your turn to play “big brother!”